How to Help a Friend Who Is Being Harassed Online

When a friend is being harassed online, wanting to help is natural, but the wrong kind of help can make things worse. Public arguments, revenge posts and pressure to "just ignore it" are common mistakes. Here is a better approach.

Start by listening

Many people hide harassment because they feel ashamed or fear being told they overreacted. Let your friend explain in their own words. Say things like "I believe you", "that sounds awful" and "this is not your fault". Do not interrupt with advice for the first few minutes. Feeling believed is often the thing they need most.

Ask what they want

Different people want different help. Some want you to sit with them, some want you to help report, some want to do nothing yet. Ask: "What would be the most helpful right now?" Respecting their choices keeps them in control at a time when they feel they have none.

Help them document and report

Offer to help take screenshots of the messages, usernames and dates. Then help report the content or account to the platform and block the person. Blocking versus reporting explains why using both is usually best. Having a second person present makes the process less overwhelming.

What not to do

• Do not retaliate. Posting insults back often gets your friend blamed and gives the harasser more material.
• Do not forward the abusive content widely. Even to be outraged, spreading it extends the harm.
• Do not minimise. "It is just the internet" is rarely helpful.
• Do not try to unmask anonymous senders. Guessing leads to accusing the wrong person.

Support in public, carefully

If your friend is comfortable, you can post something kind on their profile or send a supportive message. Avoid tagging the harasser or drawing more attention to the situation unless your friend asks you to.

Know when to involve adults or authorities

Threats, stalking, sexual content, blackmail or anything that makes your friend afraid for their safety needs a trusted adult, and possibly the police. Do not keep such secrets. Encourage your friend to tell a parent, a school counsellor or another responsible person, and offer to go with them.

Keep checking in

Harassment can leave people anxious long after it stops. Send a message a few days later. Invite them to do something offline. If they seem very low, hopeless or talk about harming themselves, take it seriously and involve a trusted adult or a local helpline immediately.

More on dealing with hurtful messages

Our guides on what to do when you get a hurtful anonymous question and setting healthy online boundaries are useful to share with a friend who wants practical steps.

The short version

• Listen first and believe them.
• Ask what help they want.
• Document, report and block together.
• Avoid retaliation and unmasking.
• Bring in adults for threats or safety concerns, and keep checking in.